I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
