There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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