i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
