Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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