Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
