and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
