Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
