u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize
