I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
