I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
