The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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