Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
