Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just had sex on a roof
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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