You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
