I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
