im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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