At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
