wakey wakey hands off snakey
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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