He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize