so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
