Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
