Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
