worst night to have a conscience
The beer is more important than you right now.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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