kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
