I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
