yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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