Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
