its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I love having hate sex.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
