maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
