is your mom at the bar?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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