Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
