At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
