we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
