YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
