I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
