in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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