I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
