There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
