There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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