But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
