piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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