I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize