Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
They took my balls.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
