I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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