Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
