wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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