just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
