That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
