have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
