never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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