she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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