I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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