No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
