still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
