This girl is more easily done than said...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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