if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
