false alarm. still invincible.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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