Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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