Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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