its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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